About the song
“Been a Son” by Kurt Cobain, released in 1992 as part of Nirvana’s Incesticide compilation album, is one of the more introspective and haunting tracks in the band’s catalog. The song originally appeared as a B-side to the band’s “Sliver” single, but its inclusion in Incesticide helped it reach a wider audience. “Been a Son” has all the hallmarks of Kurt Cobain’s unique songwriting style: raw emotion, stark honesty, and a deep sense of alienation. Although it was never a major commercial hit, the song has become a cult favorite, offering insight into Cobain’s complicated relationship with identity, family, and the pressures of societal expectations.
At its core, “Been a Son” addresses the conflict between traditional gender roles and the emotional burden of trying to fit into these constructs. The lyrics focus on Cobain’s reflections on the pressure placed on him by societal norms, particularly the expectations surrounding his identity as a son. He sings about the ways in which his experiences, desires, and personal struggles were shaped by these expectations, especially as they relate to his relationship with his mother and father. The song touches on themes of gender identity, family dynamics, and the struggle for personal autonomy. The recurring lines in the song, “I’ve been a son,” convey a sense of disconnection, as if Cobain is grappling with the fact that his identity has been shaped, or even limited, by his role as a son.
Musically, “Been a Son” showcases the grunge style that Nirvana is best known for. It features a combination of heavy, distorted guitar riffs and a strong rhythm section, typical of the band’s raw, energetic sound. The track’s tone, however, is more reflective and melancholy than some of Nirvana’s more upbeat, aggressive tracks. Cobain’s voice, with its signature mixture of fragility and intensity, perfectly complements the song’s introspective nature. The grunge elements of the song are paired with a quiet sadness, making it one of the more subdued yet emotionally charged tracks in the Nirvana catalog.
Released in 1992, “Been a Son” came at a time when Nirvana was riding the wave of success from their breakthrough album, Nevermind (1991), which had brought them international fame. Kurt Cobain’s songwriting during this period often dealt with themes of alienation, disillusionment, and a profound sense of disconnection from the world around him, all of which are present in this song. His ability to capture complex emotions with simple, straightforward lyrics was one of the reasons Nirvana resonated so deeply with a generation. The song, in its rawness, perfectly encapsulates the feeling of being lost in a world full of expectations and societal pressures.
The influence of “Been a Son” on popular culture can be seen in the way it connects with listeners who also feel at odds with societal roles or family expectations. The 1990s was a time of social upheaval, with the rise of alternative culture, and grunge music became a voice for those who felt marginalized. The song’s exploration of family dynamics and gender expectations resonated with many young people who were questioning their roles in society or experiencing the pressure of conformity. In this sense, “Been a Son” not only reflects Cobain’s personal experiences but also the broader cultural tensions of the time.
“Been a Son” also serves as a reminder of Cobain’s ability to channel his inner turmoil and complex emotions into art. The song’s inclusion in Incesticide—an album that served as a compilation of rare tracks, demos, and B-sides—gave fans a deeper understanding of Cobain’s evolving musical and lyrical themes. It further cemented his legacy as a songwriter who wasn’t afraid to tackle uncomfortable topics with brutal honesty.
In conclusion, “Been a Son” is an essential track in the Nirvana catalog, showcasing Kurt Cobain’s skill at blending personal introspection with broader social commentary. Released in 1992, this powerful song addresses themes of gender identity, family pressure, and alienation, all wrapped in the signature grunge sound that defined Nirvana. Though it may not have achieved the mainstream success of some of Nirvana’s other hits, it remains a deeply affecting and important song in the band’s legacy, revealing yet another layer of Cobain’s complex emotional landscape. It continues to resonate with fans who relate to its themes of self-exploration and the struggle for personal identity.
Video
Lyrics
Song’s called Been a sonShe should’ve stayed away from friends She should’ve had more time to spend She should’ve died when she was born She should’ve worn the crown of thorns She should have, been a son She should have, been a son She should have, been a son She should have, been a sonShe should’ve stood out in a crowdShe should’ve made her mother proud She should’ve fallen on her stance She should’ve had another chanceShe should have, been a sonShe should have, been a son She should have, been a son She should have, been a sonBeen a sonShe should have, been a son She should have, been a son She should have, been a sonShe should’ve stayed away from friendsShe should’ve had more time to spend She should’ve died when she was born She should’ve worn the crown of thorns She should have, been a son She should have, been a son She should have, been a son She should have, been a son